May 2013
8 posts
5 tags
Ronald Reagan's 31 Most YOLO Moments →
“Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.” Reagan once let a guy dressed as a leprechaun serenade his Cabinet on St. Patrick’s Day. Now that’s a president.
May 17th
May 16th
9,465 notes
2 tags
Photos give glimpse of Castro's yard →
I clicked on this thinking it contained photos of FIDEL Castro’s yard.
May 15th
1 note
6 tags
“Books are useless! I only ever read one book, ‘To Kill A...”
– Homer Simpson
May 14th
2 notes
8 tags
May 10th
27 notes
3 tags
May 8th
6 notes
4 tags
May 8th
1 note
May 8th
489 notes
April 2013
16 posts
Apr 28th
3 notes
7 tags
Apr 28th
6 tags
Apr 21st
6 notes
5 tags
Apr 20th
15 notes
6 tags
Apr 16th
27 notes
5 tags
Apr 14th
1 note
2 tags
tipsywithscissors: I had a dream last night that I met Elvira and we became jolly good friends who went on a road trip in her vintage convertible. How do I make this happen in real life? Imagining this is easy if you try…
Apr 14th
1 note
Sometimes I just get really upset about gender...
shamelesssweetheart: If gender norms were a person, I’d stab that son-of-a-bitch in the jugular.  I feel this way about people who try to get on the elevator before I’ve had a chance to get off.
Apr 12th
6 notes
Apr 12th
41 notes
4 tags
My contribution to today's crisis management...
Boss: So how should we handle the PR crisis in Oklahoma?
Me (after no one speaks up): We could just lay low and hope North Korea does something crazy?
Others: (murmurs of agreement)
Apr 11th
9 notes
4 tags
Apr 11th
7 notes
4 tags
“Essentially, this is what happened, I was approached (to star in the movie) and...”
– porn star JAMES DEEN succinctly explaining the sex tape he did with some reality TV chick you’ve probably never heard of
Apr 11th
13 notes
5 tags
Apr 10th
2 notes
Apr 3rd
391 notes
3 tags
Apr 2nd
2 notes
4 tags
Apr 2nd
5 notes
March 2013
22 posts
4 tags
Mar 28th
2 notes
“Hi my name is Mike I’m 21 from Tinley Park IL. I am on here looking for a woman...”
– -My latest OK Cupid message. Good luck with that, Mike. (via tipsywithscissors) Rejected again. (via worksdone) It would have been a different story if he’d been from Orland Park.
Mar 26th
4 notes
3 tags
Mar 24th
2 notes
8 tags
Mar 19th
2 notes
8 tags
Mar 17th
23 notes
3 tags
Mar 17th
4 notes
6 tags
Mar 17th
22 notes
3 tags
Mar 17th
24 notes
5 tags
At the Lake Street Red Line Stop
L Dude: Sir, do you have a moment? I'm a priest with the Krishnas.
Me (not seeing a train coming): Uhh, ehhh sure. Why the hell not?
L Dude: So tell me, when life gets you down, what do you do to clear your mind?
Me: I drink.
Mar 15th
5 notes
7 tags
Mar 15th
6 notes
5 tags
Mar 15th
3 notes
4 tags
Mar 15th
10 notes
3 tags
“You can take the boy out of Logan Square, but you can’t take Logan Square...”
– Me, whenever I order a PBR in other neighborhoods
Mar 11th
3 notes
4 tags
Mar 11th
4 notes
4 tags
Mar 8th
Mar 7th
810 notes
6 tags
Mar 6th
4 notes
3 tags
Mar 5th
230 notes
3 tags
Mar 3rd
3 notes
5 tags
“A Lannister always keeps it in the family.”
– Cersei Lannister
Mar 2nd
6 notes
5 tags
Mar 1st
26 notes
Mar 1st
48 notes
February 2013
12 posts
10 tags
Feb 21st
8 notes
6 tags
“Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?”
– Groucho Marx
Feb 21st
3 notes
7 tags
Feb 20th
2 notes
Feb 15th
48,328 notes